


some killer queen you are

by mrs_nerimon



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: Character Study (of sorts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:32:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_nerimon/pseuds/mrs_nerimon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She is a power and a force, and they are nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	some killer queen you are

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feelings about Mara already, which probably isn't good because we haven't even properly met her yet. This is super short, but it helped me procrastinate homework, so I'm cool with it.  
> Originally posted on tumblr bc I was too lazy to deal w/ ao3 last night. Also, this is exactly 666 words and I'm cracking up about that.
> 
> Title from Rollercoaster by Bleachers, who I absolutely can not stop listening to.

_Monster_ is a strong word.

She doesn’t hate it, but it feels unfitting. _Misunderstood_ is too soft, in the way that people try to excuse wild animals. They may look cute and gentle, but they still rip out throats.

 _Mara_ means bitter, and she doesn’t hate that either. Her mother had a plan for her, it seems.

William was not part of the plan. Most days she misses him, as you would miss a family pet. He was loyal. He cared for her.

He might have been the only person to ever do so.

She learns early on that she can not cross into that other world unscathed, which deters her plans to bring him back. It’s not a complete loss; after all, he is unnecessary. 

 _Love_ is unnecessary. She didn’t love William, not in the way that they think. She used him, she was happy with him. She did not love him.

But he loved her. She knew that long before they came to this world; William loved the darkness inside of her, the pain she could inflict. He would tell her, over and over and over. How much he loved her. All the things he would do for her.

She would silence his words with kisses and more, because they didn’t matter. Love didn’t matter. She was not meant for love.

Mara was not meant for a lot of things, in truth. She wasn’t meant to fulfill her role as someone else’s wife back home. She wasn’t meant to be _good_ , to satisfy her family. She wasn’t meant to be a mother.

(And yet in the back of her mind she knows what it is to hold her child, to love something that’s a part of her.

Her baby died, as she should have known he would, because that’s not who she is. That’s not who she could ever be.)

At night she dreams of Nathan and his love; the words he told her and the way he touched her. She hates it-hates _him_ \- on principle, and yet she can’t escape these thoughts. They plague her even in the day, as she teases and terrorizes him.

Mara wants to scrape them from her mind, wants to cleanse herself. Wants to be pure. But there’s a piece of him festering inside of her and she can not bring herself to destroy it.

She can not care for these people. They are nothing, they are below her and they deserve all of what she has done.

After all, it was their ancestors who punished her all those centuries ago. It was their families who dragged her kicking and screaming from her home, it was their blood who ripped her from William, who took her abilities away, who made her _forget_ who she was. What she was.

She is a power and a force, and they are _nothing_.

But somehow she yearns for each and every one of them. _Duke_ , her best friend and her confidant and the recipient of her latest mischief. He looks at her with hatred in his eyes and she matches it, even though a part of her remembers nightcaps at the Gull not so long ago.

He does not matter. None of them matter. 

The problem is, she can’t tell what _does_ matter anymore. William used to rank high on her list of priorities, but now he’s gone. She hasn’t had a family in a long, long time. She hasn’t had a home either.

Perhaps Haven itself matters. She can make this town into her home, she can mold these people into her subjects. Even with how useless and incapable they are.

A foolish part of her wants to return to her world, to feel her mother’s embrace, to know her own people once more.

She's never going back there again. Not after all that’s happened.

Haven seems to be all she has now. And if this place is going to be her home, she might as well have fun with it.


End file.
